Dear Friends and Family,
Today marks day 55 of my wait for LOA (see acronym breakdown on left of page). I've had quite a few people asking questions about this process, so thought I'd do a little FAQ here.
Q: Why does it take so long?
A: Both the U.S. and China want to insure that these children are in safe homes who are the best matches for them. Granted, it seems like things could be done more efficiently from my perspective, but you're working with TWO governments from two different countries which makes it VERY slow. (Can you tell I'm frustrated?) However, I do appreciate that at the heart of it, both governments do have the child's best interest at heart. Believe it or not, even with the slowdown of the U.S. government causing me an extra long delay here, I'm still ahead of the game by quite a bit!
Q: HOW MUCH LONGER????
A: Oh how I wish I knew! The wait is the most excruciating of any I've ever experienced! My file has been marked "In Process" in China which is a good thing. Average right now seems to be 60 day wait for LOA. So, I should be close. However, there are families that have still not received theirs after over 130 days. There's no rhyme or reason to that either. No one seems to know why. I'm just praying I'm not one of those! After that, it comes back to the U.S, then to the Chinese embassy, then back to China. The good news is that that part is pretty predictable in timing. I've added typical timelines on the left of this page.
Q: Why is there a 3 month time of isolating Internationally adopted children after they come home?
A: Internationally adopted children have backgrounds that are usually a mystery. We don't know what Kaylee will have been through. We do know that she was very blessed to be in a foster home during the first crucial months. She's now back in the orphanage environment, however. Because she will have been passed around from caregiver to caregiver, it will take her time to believe that I am truly going to keep her, care for her, and not send her off somewhere else to have them care for her. Therefore, all feeding and changing must be done by me for at least 3 months. Also, her exposure to others has to be very limited for that period of time. Lots of sights, sounds, and even smells can cause flashbacks to occur. Things and people must be introduced very slowly.
Q: Why did you choose to adopt internationally when there are children right here in the U.S. who need families?
A: The wait for an American child is enormously long and even more difficult for a single parent adoption. There are older children, but if someone prefers to adopt a toddler or infant, the wait will typically be excessively long. In addition, when I went to China in 2008 with my mom, I lost my heart to those little ones. I began praying at that time that I'd be able to adopt one someday.
Q: I hear International adoption can be very complicated in regard to attachment. How will you know what to do?
A: Both Dillon International and China require extensive education hours in order to help equip adoptive parents especially for situations that arise with Internationally adopted children. That along with my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy as well as an endorsement in Early Childhood Education are all going to be helpful. However, no one can be fully prepared for every situation that may arise with any of our children, so of course prayers are much appreciated for wisdom and for a smooth bonding and attachment with Kaylee!
Q: What will you do about the language barrier?
A: 2 year olds are extremely pliable in language learning. Many of these children have already learned some English words before they even get home to the U.S. There are also apps for iPhone and iPad that will be helpful in translation. She won't be talking a lot, but I will learn a few key phrases in Chinese from our Intern at The Little Light House who speaks fluent Chinese. Boy am I grateful for her!
Q: Will you travel to get her?
A: Yes, my parents and I will be in China for 10 days - 2 weeks. It will involve flying all across the country while there too. Prayers are much appreciated! We're not sure where we'll fly into. Many fly into the capital (Beijing), but we've all been there, so we may try to change that. We will then fly to Hohhot to get Kaylee and spend a few days of me singing yet more papers and taking vows to be a good mother. From there we'll fly to Guangzhou where the U.S. embassy is. Kaylee and I will do the swearing in ceremony, I will once again vow to be a good mother, Kaylee will have a short medical exam, and we will shop for souvenirs to remind her of her homeland later on. From there we will likely take the bullet train to Hong Kong and fly home from there. If anyone has extra flyer miles or upgrades on United and they'll expire unless you get rid of them, we'd be very happy to take them off your hands. :) Because Kaylee will have just turned 2, she'll have to have a full priced ticket.
Please feel free to ask any more questions if you'd like. It's a VERY complicated process! I see why people call it "Paperwork Pregnancy"! Again, thanks so much for your interest and most of all for your prayers and support!
